ENG102 by Kevin Draper

ENG102

Enter ye these hallowed halls
For education most treasured
And learn those skills for which life calls
From mentors so wise and measured.

Learn to reference published writings
Of authorities in the know
Construct your endnotes and your citings
With periods and commas just so

Quotation marks don't forget 'em
Underline each title for sure
Please to avoid ad hominem
And never non sequitur

Use sub verba when citing Webster
Don't mix up ibid and idem
Mind the fallacies of transfer,
Post hoc, assumption, syllogism

The clock crawls on, the hour grows late
The prof, our interest to ignite
Tells us how he and his wife Kate
As students, wrote papers at night

He said the bedroom door was barred
The music soft the lights down low
As they sorted bibliography cards
Alphabetically in a row

Here I sit, this student of life,
So ignorant and clueless
Why, I've been using my bed and my wife
For entirely the wrong purpose

The Party

Where’s The Party?

On the veldt of Africa we spent our day
Watching giraffes and elephants at play
There were gazelles and lions for us to see
And a group of baboons up there in the trees

Into camp drove three airline stewardesses
In a red convertible wearing fancy dresses
Africa is wild, ‘tis adventure they desire
Throw caution to the wind and dance around the fire

The sun finally set igniting the evening mist
Painting Kilimanjaro as a purple monolith
We basked in the colors and the gentle desert sound
Breathing cool night air as the monkeys gathered ‘round

T’was not the wildlife the girls had in mind
It’s the two-legged animals they sought to find
Monkeys and moonlight, how boring, what a pity
So they jumped in their car and headed for the city

To Nairobi they sped in their shiny red car
Leaving their room with a window ajar
On the bed sat their luggage, on the table were snacks
Outside the vervet monkeys planned their attack

The light poles they climbed all the way to the top
The light bulbs they dropped hit cement with a pop
Inside the window they found cheese spread and cookies
And there was lipstick and face cream, oh lookie lookie

They used the lipstick to decorate their faces
Then emptied water bottles into the luggage cases
The clothes from the luggage got hung in the trees
Among yellow blossoms waved bras and pink panties

Don’t know what happened in the city that night
But the girls came home to a spectacular sight
With their pants in the trees and the room in a mess
They missed the real party they had to confess